Freshly Pressed!


Got earplugs? Cat has been meowing for about ten minutes straight, and in the words of my Hollywood Actor Uncle, and any number of sea captains, I’m sure, “I’m becoming un-tethered.” They’re not innocent little mews, either. They’re long, punctuated, crescendo meows that permeate the walls and cause all rodents to create a one hundred foot buffer zone between their kin and the terrifying monster that is screeching from within House Nailthbailth. What’s worse, Cat makes a point to look directly at me when he meows like this, which is the closest I will ever get to being yelled at by an animal. The problem is, Cat wants to be let outside on his leash so he can fantasize about beheading small birds while he stares at them. It’s the kind of behavior you would expect out of a pervy criminal, not a civilized house cat. But here we are:…

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